At some point in our lives, we have all been in a toxic relationship with family members, friends, and romantic partners. In this article, we will be discussing several ways that can aid in leaving a toxic relationship. Before we continue, I want you to know that I understand how hard it can be to leave. You might have your reasons, but the common ones are fear, anxiety, and comfort. God understands what you’re going through and doesn’t want you to suffer any longer. You might stay because you are terrified at the thought of being alone. Oftentimes, toxic relationships separate you from the people you love, which can make your partner the center of your world. I get it. They can be your world at first, but everything will come crashing down if there isn’t a firm foundation in Christ. Heck, you might feel like you’re walking on eggshells at times. Yet we have to admit that some great memories might have been made, which can entice you to believe that they can change. Unfortunately, I’m here to advise you that they won’t. You can’t change a person, but you can change the situation. It’s also an addiction, isn’t it? It hurts so good, but it’s bad for you and your soul. Do not let it feed your flesh anymore, so start feeding your soul with God.
- Pray and ask for strength: If you are in a toxic relationship, I want to ask you if you think that God would want this for you. Do you think that the all-loving creator of the universe wants you to cry yourself to sleep? No, he wants to free you and help you with everything. Now, if you’re married and your marriage is toxic, you should pray and ask for help. Although, if any of you are causing physical harm to one another, leave. No one deserves to get hurt, and God won’t judge you for leaving a marriage that leaves you with bruises. Think about it like this, if they were possessed by the fruits of the Holy Spirit, they wouldn’t hurt you to the point where you beg for God’s intervention. Your vows were in vain, so leave and find someone else who will honor the vows and be a true wife or husband.
- Fast and pray: The power of fasting and prayer is beyond amazing. If you need the strength and the courage to break up with someone who is toxic, pray and fast. Ask God to deliver you and seek him with all of your heart. Ask him to remove toxic people in your life that pull you away from him. You will be surprised how fast your prayers will be answered because he cares for you. God, the God of Abraham, the God who delivered Israel, will deliver you.
- Imagine your future: I want you to close your eyes and imagine a future where you can talk to your husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, or wife in peace. No anger, no stress, no screaming, no hitting, no name calling… How do you feel? Relieved? Happy? Joyful? At peace? Now imagine a life where God is at the center of the relationship. Oh, how beautiful everything is going to be. Imagine a life where your partner loves God and loves you like Christ loves the church. How does that feel? You might cry, but you know deep in your heart that it’s the truth. You deserve better. God will deliver you.
- Seek professional help: If you are married and want to work this out, consider talking to a relationship therapist. If you’re just a couple in a normal relationship, this is not for you. Leave while you still can because you are not married to them. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. If you are married, I advise that you try your best to ensure that you can work things out.
- Talk to your loved ones: Now, if your partner separates you from your family, they’re not worthy of being with you. Unless your family is toxic, there is no need to completely separate yourself from them. This is the classic power and control tactics manipulators use. They will try to manipulate you to make you hate your family; the keyword is “hate.” If they are causing you not to see your family on holidays, birthdays, or at least once a month, leave them. They want to separate you from your family and friends so they can control you easily. They don’t have the love of God in them because that’s the devil’s work. Think about it like this, why is it important for the body of Christ to stick together? The enemy finds it difficult to manipulate someone, but deception can be strong if an individual is isolated. This is what manipulators do: they use the same tactics and tricks. Talk to your loved ones and ask what their opinions of your lover are.
- Become distant/plan to leave: Let them know you’re unhappy. Pray and ask God to direct your steps to break up with them. Remember, breakups are never easy, but they’re sometimes necessary. Ask them to go out somewhere public and break up with them there. If it makes you feel better, break up with them through a call or text and let them know that it’s over. If they try to deceive you or scare you, inform them that you will call the police if they show up at your house and block them immediately. You don’t have to do it in person if your safety or integrity are at risk. If you are married, then you might have to talk to them first. Seek couples counseling and pray together because you’re married. You can’t just text them and block them like someone in a regular relationship. I will write a different article on this topic, so stay on the lookout.
To end this article, these are just some of the many ways to leave a toxic relationship. Remember that you are never alone, and that Jesus is always with you. Someone who loves you will not control you, manipulate you, hurt you, or make you cry. This is why it’s important to establish a firm foundation with the Lord before you even look for a relationship. Make sure God is first above all else, and always ask him for direction. To whoever is reading this, man or woman, you deserve better. You deserve to laugh and love, to endure trials together, to worship the Lord together, and to serve others. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
