We all have been there, and needless to say, it’s unpleasant. Let’s not pretend that it’s all sunshine and rainbows because it’s not. If you’re currently single and are healing from past trauma, or it isn’t the time for you to seek a relationship, this article is for you. First, I want you to know that it’s okay not to enjoy being single. Many Christians mix this up and tell others that you have to be content being single. What does that mean? Does it mean we must be content being alone and single in our situation? Or does that mean that we have to be content with ourselves and learn to enjoy being single because we appreciate our own company? You see, it’s normal to desire intimacy and companionship. Yet, we should be content in our season of singleness as long as we build a foundation with Christ and learn to love our own company. You don’t have to like the season, but you have to endure it and learn to be content with yourself. So, relax and breathe because we are going to dive right in.
- Pray and ask God to heal you: This is very obvious, but many forget to pray and ask God to heal their wounds. Time and time again, I see single Christians who are battling with past trauma that was caused by their previous relationship. Yet some refuse to accept the fact that they might need to spend some time alone with God while patiently waiting. What does that mean? How can you expect to get out of the season of singleness if you have yet to heal from old wounds? Do you have trust problems? Anger, anxiety? You see, all of that baggage can come from your past relationship. I encourage you to pray and ask the Lord to heal you in whatever area you need healing to move on from this season. Learn to trust God and ask for deliverance on what you need to work on with him. Heal and trust the Lord.
- Workout/improve yourself: Now, how can you be sure that you’re ready to enter a new relationship if you haven’t healed or improved physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? We are all the temple of Christ, which means that we have to take care of ourselves physically and spiritually. We have to improve our prayer life and our relationship with God. We must also work out to maintain a healthy physique and body. Maybe you were in a toxic relationship where you gained weight, or maybe you didn’t take care of yourself in other important areas. Pray and ask God to show you the way by leaning on him and understanding that you are the temple. Get a haircut every two weeks if you are a man. Work out at least four days a week, ensure proper hygiene, and go out and find your style! Go out and buy new clothes and try a different dress or outfit. Get a new haircut! Take care of yourself, my friend, and go to the doctor or dentist. Improve yourself every day, and know that you are the temple of Christ.
- Volunteer/church events: During your singleness season, I recommend going out and volunteering. We have more time to perform God’s work if we are single, which means helping a friend in need, volunteering, or joining a ministry. Volunteering is also a great way to meet new people if you’re feeling lonely. I would check if your local church offers different kinds of ministries that can position you to meet new people and help out the community. Another bonus is that church events are free, meaning you only need to bring yourself. The food is free, the games, the drinks, etc… So there is always something to do in God’s eyes, so get to work and volunteer for him. Don’t let this great opportunity pass you by because you will miss being in this season once you are married for more than twenty years.
- Try a new hobby: We live in a world where we constantly live at the speed of the internet, which means that we don’t get to enjoy what we like very often. This is one of the pros of being single because you can try a new hobby you have always wanted. This includes painting, writing, reading, hiking, and more. One of the best things you can do this season is find a hobby and relax for a bit. Who knows, maybe your hobby can provide an extra stream of income. While you wait and heal in the season of singleness, you can always try new things without compromising as someone would in a relationship. So think about that and reflect on the type of hobbies you would like to try.
- Meet new people: Meeting new people can be especially difficult for introverts like me because of social anxiety and the fear of getting rejected. I want you to remember that you are a child of God, and your brothers and sisters in Christ are waiting with open arms to include you in activities and their groups. When you’re single, you may want to isolate yourself to avoid getting hurt. Yet that is a danger because the enemy roams around like a lion waiting to devour you. Remember, a lion in the wild will attack the prey who is alone and without the rest of the flock. Do not let that be you, so join Bible groups and events to meet new people. Meet people at your church who will bring you closer to God and not away from him. Go to young adult events, and I promise you that you will meet a friend as long as you try.
- Ask God to show you your spiritual gifts: This is the fun part! When you’re single, do you honestly believe that God will waste this season? Nope! Ask him and pray that he can reveal your spiritual gift or talent you never thought you had. I dare you. Do that and watch what transpires, and I can guarantee that you will forget that you’re single, at least for a while. When the Lord reveals your hidden gift or talent, you will gain immense hope, which will inspire you to share the good news and your gifts to others. I personally witnessed this happen, and I’m going to give you some examples. Let’s say someone who constantly prayed and patiently waited for the Lord tries something new, like a hobby. After, they find out that they can paint well or draw well. Some find out that they can really sing, so what do they do? They join a ministry and help out, but most importantly, they get busy. The Lord is with them, and he will be with you. So don’t worry because you will never have this amount of free time again. Yet that desire to find love will be present. Some days, it will feel like you love this season, while other days, you may cry and ask the Lord to bring you someone. Trust in the Lord, let him heal you and show you your gifts. Eventually, you will be ready, and the Lord will show you as he places the desire to look for someone intensely. So relax, have some wine, paint, sing, and rejoice because the Lord is working on your special someone.
To summarize this entire article, it will be hard to be single. No one likes this season, but you must like your company and love yourself. Ask the Lord to heal you and let him lead you. Trust me, he will place that desire to find someone when you are ready. In the meantime, heal, work out, meet new people, spend time with God, ask him to reveal your gift, and love him above everything. Remember to seek the kingdom of God first, and everything will be added to you. Read Matthew 6:33.
