How to Find A Godly Spouse

Many Christians often ask themselves why they can’t seem to find the spouse that God has for them. Many claim that God is angry at them or that they’re not attractive. Today, we will review a list on how to find your godly-ordained spouse. So, will you be following along? 

1. Church: I know, I know. Most of you are all probably wondering why this would be included in the list because if you’re seeking a godly spouse, you are most likely going to church. What if I told you that most Christians just get up and leave after the sermon is over? I know that I’m guilty of doing this. Are you? You see, most of us just get up and leave without staying a little longer to hear the announcements that the church usually makes, which could be why you’re not succeeding. You see, if you decide to wait a little longer, you could see a man or woman sitting alone, waiting for the right person to come up and talk to them. I have seen this many times, and you won’t believe how many singles attend church by themselves. This includes men and women, so stay on the lookout after church. Remember, God comes first.

2. Mentorships: You probably have been in this situation where your mom or grandma tried to set you up on a blind date with someone you don’t even know. It’s awkward, and they probably have a different type than what you’re looking for. What if I told you that joining a women’s Bible study or a man’s group can position you to meet older people who can become your mentors? They can show you the ropes and introduce you to their niece, granddaughter, grandson, and friend’s son. When you get to know them, they might really like your personality or your looks, which could make them think of their own grandsons or granddaughters. Another way this can work out for you is by opening up about yourself in those groups, which means letting them know you’re single. Bring up the topic in your next Bible study, life group, or any group you are in with your church. Not many Christians are willing to talk about their singleness, which is heartbreaking because everyone at one point in their lives was in your situation. This might entice them to want to help you even more. Try it, I dare you.

3. Christian dating sites: This topic could be an entirely different article, but we will include it in this article. Not everyone will meet their spouse on these dating apps, but few will, which should make you at least try one of the many Christian dating sites. These sites have many pros and cons, so let’s name a few. One of the many pros is that you can filter what you want and don’t want. This can mean filtering people who live far away, are a certain height, age, or even have hobbies that you don’t partake in. If you meet someone in person, you would have to go out on a date, if not several dates, to filter all of this out. Another pro would be that you can see their photos and activities before you like their profile. Remember, it is not a sin to have a type! Now that I have given you a sneak peek of the pros, let us get into the cons, shall we? So the first and obvious con would be that there aren’t many members within a certain area you might live in. I’m sorry if you live in a rural area, but you have to go out physically to find a wife or husband. Your chances are practically so slim that you might as well go back in time and challenge Goliath yourself. Your odds of beating him are greater than finding a spouse unless you want to travel across the country, which leads me to another point. Your dream husband or wife, who has the same values as you do, hobbies, music, taste, food, and much more, is across the country. Let’s face it: It’s too easy and too good to be true to finding someone like that within a twenty-mile radius. How many of us have seen a profile you adore, only to find out it’s across the country? 

4. Church events: Now, you might be asking yourself why church events besides service are relevant. Well, what if I told you that your church might offer a young adult Bible study every week? Or what if your church is doing something different, like a singles event every Friday? You might have never known about this because you never stayed after church or bothered to look at the website. Or what if your church decided to have a young adult retreat that you can attend? You can get closer to God and find your spouse, which is a win-win situation, right? Not so fast! You have to be willing to put yourself out there and talk to different people. If I had a dollar for the number of times I attended these events and saw people ignoring the opposite sex because they were nervous, I would be rich. Rich. That topic is for another blog, so let’s continue, shall we? These church events might be held every week, month, or year, so keep your eyes out for the flyers passed out after church or the website. From my experience, these single events are held from late spring till the end of summer. Some are held once a month, weekly in summer, while the rest are spread out sporadically depending on the church budget and need for these types of events. I would highly recommend talking to the youth minister or admin and asking if they are in need of volunteers to kick off these types of events. Your church might have the budget but not the volunteers to start the event. Another thing you can do—and I’m talking to the men—is to find your wife, because it’s the man’s job to look for a spouse. Now, a woman should make herself available and open to meet men, but ultimately, the men are the ones that have to engage first and seek. So, why not go to another church event? Increase your odds, people! If you really want to settle down and God is putting this in your heart, seek it out. Go to a different church within your denomination and go to their study group or event. You might meet your husband or wife there, who knows? No one does, only God. So why not give it a try? Nothing worth taking the time out of your day in this world is free. Nothing good is free. God is not just going to send your spouse like they’re a package. You have to pray and seek, which makes these events perfect. 

5. Marriage classes/family classes: Before you say no, just take the time to read and reflect. How many of us know someone our age who is young and married? You see, I know for a fact that your church offers these types of classes for newlyweds and new families. These classes are not just for them because you can attend and learn a thing or two. These classes are a great way to introduce yourself to twenty people or so who are married and know people who are single within the church. Now, you might be asking what your excuse is if they ask why you joined their class. Simply say the truth, say that you’re looking to find a spouse and want to know what it takes to have a successful marriage. That alone will put a smile on their face because at least one person takes the time out of their day to learn what it takes to have a successful marriage. The last thing you want to do is get a divorce because you two were not equally yoked. You also can ask the couples who are going to marry where they met. It might give you ideas. 

So, to end this article on a positive note that will motivate you, seek! Many brothers and sisters think seeking or finding is a sign of desperation. I know it’s not, because say it with me: Proverbs 18:22: Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord. Findeth; you got to go out, people! Go find and seek them if you know you’re ready and the Lord has put this in your heart. There is no shame; no shame. There is shame in just laying on your bed, KNOWING you are ready and that the Lord placed this desire in your heart. Proverbs 13:4: The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.